Hai thar.

[clex_monkie89]

I live.

Yesterday kinda of blew randomly because I was in an emo mood. Lucky for you all I was too emo to make the post I wanted to then.

The basic, non-emo gist of the post is that I very rarely ever actually comment on anyone's entries. Some times it's because I just don't have anything to say but a lot of the time it's because I'm like, completely convinced that I sound like an idiot. Yeah, I'm a freak.

So. Anyway. Probably gonna fail my classes because my sleep sched is all fucked up again and thus I have not been waking up in time to get to class. I plan on just staying up and heading into class tomorrow with no sleep. It should work to my advantage because Bret (the teacher) think I've been sick this whole time as opposed to sick and then oversleeping. Unfortunately I have an oral report tomorrow and all my notes for it are in my notebook at Mom's that she hasn't brought me in two fucking weeks. Because her not fighting rush hour is more important than me passing my fucking class.

Gotta love her.

I may make a ranting post later tonight, maybe.

Comments

[velithya]

*hugs* I promise not to think you're an idiot. YOU'RE CLEX, YOU'RE AWESOME. HOW COULD YOU BE AN IDIOT? \o/

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

*Hugs back* Dude, it's the fandom. People like technosage and poisontaster who use the kind of words in their everyday speak that make me have to tab a dictionary to understand. It's just so hard not to feel like a raging idiot when people are going on and on about deep issues in the show and your biggest thought about the ep was "I wonder how Dean fixed Sam's jacket."

[velithya]

oh, shit man, I am right there with you. I mean, jeez, I watch an episode and my thoughts are like "....awesome" so yeah, I get that.

[girlfan1979.livejournal.com]

It's just so hard not to feel like a raging idiot when people are going on and on about deep issues in the show and your biggest thought about the ep was "I wonder how Dean fixed Sam's jacket."

Aw, hon!

It's not a smarter/dumber thing - it's like a Sam is a big tree remembering nerd, and Dean is a big 'I can make my own electronics' geek. People are just different, and I don't mean that in a "there, there" patronising way.

You have an INCREDIBLY creative mind. I love reading your stuff, and your fascination with the wardrobe (and it's implications for the show), totally counts as meta - personally, some of the most interesting meta I've read.

You mentioned in another comment - and I'll just add this here rather than skip around piling on the email notifications :) that it's scary that you're in comm college and failing. I can only speak from personal experience, but I dropped out of college twice before finding what I really could, and wanted to, do. And even then, it was hard. They were all hard. Partly, it's just college. Very few people will not have those terrifying 'omg I'm going to fail' moments - and I'm including people with excellent grades in it. It's a race against yourself, and against RL, as much as anything to do with the material you're studying.

Now, sometimes something just isn't a fit - I don't think that's the case here - you can converse intelligently on your subject. I know that doesn't make it easier, but try to keep a perspective: it might be stupidly hard (for lots of reasons, many of which having virtrually nothing to do with the course material), but you can do this. You're good at this.

And as for the social insecurity thing, thinking you're going to post something you shouldn't? Try not to worry about it too much. Most of us are worried about the same thing, to greater or lesser degrees.

And if you want, feel free to practice on my journal.

Sometimes (*cough* often) I'm the flakiest snowflake in the blizzard, so pretty much nothing is too out there for me, and it's very hard to offend me without trying. So even if you DO find you've posted something and then you're like "oh noes, I remember she said blah and zomg I said blah de blah and MAN that sounds all wrong", don't sweat it. Everyone does it sometimes.

If you have to, you can always delete and leave a "sorry, drunk typing!, ignore my last comment if you get it" comment instead.

Okay, see? Now I'm going "oh shit, I sound like I think I know everything and that she should sit at my feet and learn from my ZOMG WISDOMS", but I'm going to post this anyway. Because that's not what I'm saying, and you probably get that, and maybe this comment will help lend you some perspective, or maybe just go "okay, there are definately crazier LJers then me" or whatever.