clex_monkie89 | And the Stalker returns.

Current Mood: cynical
Current Location: Dad's

And the Stalker returns.

I give up.

I don't stay after class for more than five minutes anymore, I don't go to the library unless it's during class, I have taken all the steps to avoid this freak and he still persists.

I am just going to ignore any and all comments he makes in my journal, if you guys could too that would be awesome.

Man, this guy is just too creepy for words.

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*is worried*

Stalker? Like crazy, this person might hurt me some day, stalker? Or just, they're mildly annoying and I wish they'd go away, stalker?

I know you're not asking for advice here, but as a former prosecutor, this kind of thing always sends up red flags for me.

There are things you can do to protect yourself. Or, at the very least, things you can do to make their stalkerish behavior go from a personal annoyance for you to a legal and even criminal problem for them.

Mostly, though, be careful. People like this can flip from crazy to dangerous in a blink.

Like actual stalker. I've gone to Campus Security and they've said that since he hasn't made any threats to me that there's nothing that can be done yet.

And yeah, this guy... Within a few hours of us meeting he managed to find my AIM name and then IM me and ask if I would tie him up and spank him.

I once told the guy, in front of people in between classes, that he made me uncomfortable and I would prefer if he leave me alone. He agreed and then like three days later came up and said hi to me in the library and asked why when he tried to comment in my journal LJ said he was banned.

I've gone to Campus Security and they've said that since he hasn't made any threats to me that there's nothing that can be done yet.

Lazy fuckers. This is not true. Of course, you have to take some steps before law enforcement can step in. But I'll be happy to walk you through what you need to do. (Did I mention, former prosecutor, here?)

First, you need to get an Injunction Against Harassment. This is fairly easy to do, especially if you've kept track of this unwanted contacts -- whether in person, phone, IM, LJ, whatever. At your city court they'll have a form that you fill out, detailing his information, the unwanted contact, etc. The judge then issues an order (usually without a hearing, just based on your petition/sworn statement), prohibiting him from making contact with you in any way -- in person, by phone, by computer, etc. The police will serve the order on him. After he's been served, any time he makes contact, you call the police (not campus security) and report it, making sure they know (although your local police will have it on file) that you have an injunction against harassment against this person. First violation, can be a misdemeanor charge. Continued violations can add up to an aggravated harassment felony charge.

But the first step is getting the injunction. And there does not have to have been any physical contact or threats in order to get this. The fact that he's make sexually ladden remarks, and that you've made it clear that they are not welcome, and he continues to make contact -- this should be more than enough for an injunction.

Like I said, I'd be happy to help you with this.

Dude. I knew my campus security sucked but I didn't realize just how bad they were.

The main problem right now is him friending and commenting in my journal. I no longer stay at school more than five minutes after classes and I avoid the library (Where we had most contact) unless I'm in class and must be there so I've managed to successfully chop our contact almost completely down.

I'm definitely going to check out all my avenues for this and try to figure out which one is best (At a time when I'm not half-asleep).

*points up*

What moonmelody said. Seriously, long past time to take legal action against Mr. Nutjob. You may want to consult with an attorney (y'know, apart from moonmelody) so you know what all your options are, what you should and should not do with regards to him online, and ditto regarding in-person contact.

But definitely take steps to get an Injunction against him.

*hugs*

The only hesitation I have is the attorney thing, because money is definitely something we don't have enough of. For sure.

I am going to ask around though (I have a teacher who is an attorney and several who are former cops and deputies) and try and figure out what my best option will be.

*Hugs you back*

Talk to your associates. Ask them and/or check in your area for resources for battered women. In my area, there's a resource center that will hook battered women up with attorneys willing to do pro bono work. They might do something for harassment/stalking victims as well, or know someone who might. Also contact your state's Bar Association (which is different from the state Bar) for any resources they may have. The NC Bar Association offers a referral service that gives people a significant discount. Your state's bar association may offer something similar.

Do you have him banned from your LJ? Maybe you should contact the LJ crew and see if theres any way to keep him completely away?

I banned him on his first username and then he came up to me at school and asked why when he tried to comment LJ told him he had been banned from commenting in my journal. Thanks, LJ.

Maybe they have something that tracks IP addresses? I have no idea if that's possible, to ban an IP address, but. You could always go totally, friends-only...there's a command you plug into the admin console and it automatically makes all of your posts friends-locked so you don't have to do it manually every time.

Yeah, the problem with the I.P. thing is that when I get online using the campus Wireless I use the same I.P. as when he's online through them.

The Friends Only thing is an option I've toyed with in the past. I don't really want to do it but I may have to eventually.

How many months has it been at this point? Seriously, you should take some official steps if he keeps this up, because you really don't need it - and after so long, I'm sure you have enough for something permanent if you want. *holds you*

*Is held* It's been so many months now, it's insane. And the problem is that because he has never made any kind of threat no one seems to be able to do anything.

Ok, I don't know what you've done in the past, but...would you be willing to force his hand? Like, not provoke him so much as very blatantly tell him that he's pissing you off and making you uncomfortable and that he needs to stop or you're going to pursue official channels? Because after that - even if you're bluffing in the beginning - if he keeps going on or steps everything up, you could probably work the harassment angle.

See, I've told him before that he makes me uncomfortable and asked if he would leave me alone, and he said okay. And then three days later (Two? I think it was three) he walked up and asked why LJ said he was banned from commenting on my journal. It was like he had never even heard that conversation.

Send him an email or give him a letter telling him you're banning him from your journal again because you're not comfortable, please don't create another name to friend me under, I'll just ban that too - and keep a copy of it for yourself so you have proof that you've said something.

*hugs*

Huh. That's actually a good idea. If he comments again (I'm hoping he'll take the point when he sees that I've responded to everyone but him) I'm gonna do that.

*Hugs you back*

I'm so sorry he won't just go away, hon. I know it must be really scary. *hugs and hugs*

*Hugs you back* He's just so freakin' creepy!

These guys helped me recently:

http://www.cyberangels.org/

I run a messageboard; they advised me on how to handle a freak who started showing up at women's workplaces.

They suggested something that surprised me a lot, which was to ignore the asshole as much as possible, because creeps like this are usually seeking attention above all. So I very quietly banned him and said nothing except to the other board mods. He has disappeared, probably to harass other people.

So while letters are necessary if you plan to go to the cops and get a restraining order, it's also giving the jerk attention.

I recommend looking over their website for ideas. If you email them about it, be patient, because it may take a week for them to respond.

It may be worth notifying the guy you have contacted Cyber Angels about him.

Your campus security absolutely blows. I want to pound on them with the idiot stick.

Thank you so much, I think I remember having heard something about them before but only in passing.

I'll check out their site and see what they say. Right now I'm sticking with the "don't reply to his comments" thing.

And yeah, the campus security sucks major ass.

Creepy. :0(

*hugs*

*Hugs you back*

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And the Stalker returns.

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