PORN.

[clex_monkie89]

Okay. So I have a phone number I need you guys to call. It's (715) 699-2789. The person who owns this number said I can publicly post it and a plea so long as his/her name is not used. Lets call him/her Mac.

Now see, Mac has never once in his/her whole life received any kinda of obscene phone call. I feel like this needs to be remedied. I would call and porn but that would be awkward what with me having to borrow my brother's cell to do that.

So I need y'all to call. Call Mac and breathe heavily into the phone, talk dirty, be obnoxious, whatever. Just do it. And if you get the voice mail? Leave it in a message. *67 blocks you're number; it's "Anonymous commenting on, IP logging off" but for phones.

Come on, you know you want to.

Feel free to link anyone and everyone to this post, Mac needs phone-sex, even if it's only aimed in Mac's general vicinity.

Also? Mac has totally okay this. That is why Mac does not want to be named.

Comments

[resounding-echo.livejournal.com]

:has never received an obscene phone call and will not be posting mobile number:

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

You would honestly be amaed at the things I can talk people into...

[resounding-echo.livejournal.com]

Ah, I don't doubt your ability!

But why do we need to be sexually harassed over the phone?

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Because it's a right of passage. Everyone needs to have at least one heavy breather on the other end of the line sometime. And what better way than to have someone who's actually sane and safe call you and fake it?

Besides, if they get your voicemail you can totally save the message and go back and laugh at it when you're having a bad day.

[hrada.livejournal.com]

OKAY.

THAT'S IT.

SO MAKING A JAW-DROP ICON NOW!

Nobody has called Mac, last I heard. Is it fortunate, or is he just that unloved? T_T

You have a heck of a weird way of cheering people up, girl... :P

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Well? Where's the icon? Hm?

Mac has indeed gotten no calls yet. Mac and I think this has something to do with it being early/late. That and people being chickens.

What can I say, I'm all a-special.

[hrada.livejournal.com]

And I JUST realized that hey, that's not my number up there after all, and felt kinda stupid.

And then my desk hit the head and everything went all black. :(

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

XD.

Don't worry hon, if all works out the way I plan yours shall be next.

[hrada.livejournal.com]

I'm actually really tempted to call the guy up and pretend to be T-Bag, just because.

But my roommates almost never leave the room, and the guy would hear:

T-Bag Deep Voice: Hey, pretty.

*voices in background*

High-pitched gay boy voice: "Stop it you guys!" *giggle*

Yeah...that would just ruin the whole thing.

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Do it! DO IT! MAC NEEDS HOT GAY PORN. DOOOO IIIIIIIIIITTTTTT.

You can also fake at Sam or Dean or something too because Mac is bifandom.

[cynical-terror.livejournal.com]

Whoa, is that a Wisconsin area code I see?! Maybe I'll just walk over to his house and breathe heavily at him!

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Why yes, yes it is. Damn I got a ton of y'all on my FList...

[cynical-terror.livejournal.com]

I am going to try and get my shameless friend Lola to call him!

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Yay! Do it! Mac needs porn! PORN. Tell Lola to be obscene as inhumanly possible. If it goes to voicemail? Keep going until it cuts off. *Glees*

[cynical-terror.livejournal.com]

Hahhaa, that won't be a problem for her, I'm sure. I'll talk to her about it tonight!

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Yay! Mac will be so happy!

[lissa-bear.livejournal.com]

Hey! I know that number! And the next time I get drunk? Ima totally call it!

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Why wait till you're drunk? Do it now! Do it, do it, do it! Porn, porn, porn!

[lissa-bear.livejournal.com]

I'm too big of a chicken. I could maybe call and play a porn video or something, but I can't make my own porny noises, I'll laugh. Plus, Mac will know my voice.

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

True, Mac would know your voice. Then go for option two and play a porn into the phone, Mac'll love that.

[lissa-bear.livejournal.com]

ok, I'll do it tonight when Julia's here for moral support.

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Yay! You two can tag-team Mac.

...That sounded amazingly dirty.

[researchgrrrl.livejournal.com]

OMGICON! (I do love that pan along Dean's body. You picked my favorite part of that set of curves, too. *g*)

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

Mmmyeah. I saw the Gen Porn icons that other friend of yours with the name I can't type free-hand yet put up and totally decided I had to make my own from the scenes she didn't do. And then I ended up making forty-something because I got carried away.

That is one of the best pans ever. If I could do an animated icon that didn't look like choppy crap I'd totally make one of that part. It was totally porn.