Hmm. Not sure I like this much but it's the first thing that came to my mind. Maybe we should do two or three and submit the one we like most?
"I won't let you break my heart."
"What? What're you talking about? I thought we were just fucking around."
"Yeah well, we aren't anymore. I'm gay, alright?"
"Really? Cause I wouldn't have known what with you whoring your way through every willing guy here!"
"Fuck you man, I've slept with one guy since coming to New Zealand that wasn't you man. What I'm trying to tell you is that I'm gay, I know this and I'm fine with it. You aren't."
"I don't care that you're gay man."
"Not me, you."
"What?"
"You can't handle the fact that you're gay."
"I, I'm not gay, I, I just...it's just--"
"If you say it's just me I'll punch you right in the neck. I've been through this rubbish before and I won't do it again. I've already had all my phases I'm not gonna sit here while you jerk me around anymore."
"I thought you liked me jerking you."
"I'm not joking Elijah. I figured all this shite out when I was fourteen, I've already done the denial thing, I've done the depression and the suicidal thoughts and I've done the 'whoring around' thing as you've so nicely called it. I'm not that type of guy. I don't like being used. I don't like how it feels and I don't like how it makes people look at me. I like you. I really like you, but I'm not going to sit here and wait for the day you decide you would rather like to live the lie."
"Well aren't you fucking fabulous. Figured it all out at fourteen, did ya? Well you know when I was fourteen? Four fucking years ago, Orlando. And how am I supposed to know what I am when I've spent most of my life having everyone tell me who I am? Pretending to be someone else? So excuse me if I'm a little weirded out about prancing hand in hand out of the closet with you!"
"Oh, Lijah."
"No! Don't pull that shit with me. Don't go all puppy dog eys Poor Orli on me, you fucker. You won't let me break your heart? What the fuck's that supposed to mean? You like me? You really like me! You don't even fucking know me. How's that for heartbreaking?"
"Oh so now I don't know you huh? You are so god damn anal--don't you dare giggle--about your CDs that you sit up all night fixing your entire fucking collection everytime Dom and Billy fuck with them!
"You hate the strawberries and you hack and weeze everytime you try to eat a pear--which you keep doing for some reason and you pop your knuckles so much I want to break your hands sometimes just to get you to stop! You call Hannah every night and you can recite every line of Star Wars and I swear to god your are the biggest geek in the world sometimes but for some reason... for some stupid, insane reason I put up with you."
"Oh, you put up with me? Well thank you Mr. Bloom, you're such a good, kind, gracious man to do that, why if it weren't for you I don't know what I would do! Except maybe not be standing in the middle of the fucking road in the middle of god damn mother fucking New Zealand at two in the fucking morning, when I have make-up in three fucking hours, FIGHTING WITH THE BIGGEST DOUCHE-BAG I'VE EVER MET!"
"That's right, scream louder, maybe we'll get arrested. That's the way to solve things. Lijah I... argh, god. Deep breath, deep breath..."
"Stop talking to yourself fuck-head I'm right here! Yell at me, call me names, do something but don't fucking try to block this out!"
"I'm trying to calm down. I don't want to scream at you anymore. I'm not asking you to come running out of the closet done-up in drag or anything I just... God I can't get my thoughts in order, I sound like fucking idiot."
"And that's different how?"
"You know that whole insulting humor thing you do when you wanna be an ass? Now is not the fucking time man! Okay. I, I, do you know what it feels like to be someone's experiement? To have your feelings toyed with that badly? I was the best man at one of my ex-boyfriend's wedding. Do you have any idea what that feels like? To care about someone, deeply, and then for that person to turn around after eight fucking months and tell you 'hey, it's been fun but it turns out you aren't my type after all?' It hurts man! I don't-- if you did that to me I would never be able to forgive you. I'm not that nice of a guy, and I just don't have it in me to do that anymore. Not again."
"Christ! I didn't...I wouldn't...I've never...I'm so sorry your...friend...did that to you. I'm not experimenting on you, Orli. I swear to God. Before I met you, before I saw you, I never thought I was...that's I'd..."
"I'm tired, Lijah. How the fuck did I ever get to be this tired? You know what I mean?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I do. How the hell did we get here, man?"
"Dom shoved us outta the car because our arguing was pissing him off."
"Not literally here moron. Here. Like this? I don't want to be angry, at you. I don't want things to change. Why can't they just stay the way they are?"
"Because...Because things change. Relationships, they evolve. You know? Don't just stand there shrugging at me. Why do you get so freaked out every time I use the "R" word?"
"Ten to one you're thinking out escape routes right now."
"Bite me. Hey!"
"You said bite me."
"I didn't mean to actually bite me. Freak."
"Oops."
"Idiot. I don't freak out."
"You climbed out a bathroom window."
"I needed air."
"Liar."
"Loser. It's not that I freak out okay, it's just that I'm, y'know, new at this."
"You're kidding."
"Bite me--not litterally! It's just that I've never really dated anyone before. I never went to school like most kids and everyone I knew was always way older than me. I've never really dated anyone before and frankly? This is fucking scary dude. Not only is this my first relationshippy-thing but...
"Dude I just all of a sudden went from making with a rare few girls on set and idly thinking that Josh or Usher or Toby is kinda, y'know, to this with you. And you're just so...isane and together and sure of yourself and it's just really fucking scary sometimes."
"I'm an actor, man. An actor. I act sane and together..."
"Wow, Academy Award time! And the best actor Oscar goes to: Elijah Wood!!!"
"Stop it! I'm trying to be straight with you! Did you just giggle? Can we maybe act like adults for, like 10 seconds?"
"Act like adults?"
"Stop being a dick."
"Christ you're freezing. Let's walk. Where the hell are we, anyway?"
"Dunno, man. Can't be far from your place, can we? I say we call Dom and make him come the fuck back here and get us."
"No. Let's just walk."
"And talk?"
"Stop laughing. Yes, and talk. So, the big "R" scares the hell outta you, yeah?"
"I'm a kid, man. Ya know? People think I'm all mature and worldly wise and what the fuck ever, but really I think I just act like I know what I'm doing and hope nobody sees through the act."
"Like me?"
"Like you."
"Love me?"
"Fuck off man. I can barely say we're, you know, dating or whatever. I'm not sure I can..."
"Commit? Maybe you should whore around a bit."
"Nice. You want me to? Because you know, I don't even know how to do that."
"What? Pick up? C'mon girls--and guys--drool over you!"
"Um, yes. 13 year old girls. That's just...wrong. Guys drool over me? Really."
"Ok, so maybe it's just me, Lij."
"You drool over me?"
"Um, well. I think you're, like, hot..."
"And?"
"Way to fish for compliments, Wood."
"Hey, I gotta get 'em when I can!"
"So, yeah. You're like, cool, y'know? And you don't even try. And you like me. I mean you're a good mate--friend. You treat me like I matter, like I'm not some dumb guy who's like, green..."
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er...yes. righty oh then.
This line popped into my head. Think you can do anything with it?
"I won't let you break my heart."
Hmmm...
"I won't let you break my heart."
"What? What're you talking about? I thought we were just fucking around."
"Yeah well, we aren't anymore. I'm gay, alright?"
"Really? Cause I wouldn't have known what with you whoring your way through every willing guy here!"
"Fuck you man, I've slept with one guy since coming to New Zealand that wasn't you man. What I'm trying to tell you is that I'm gay, I know this and I'm fine with it. You aren't."
"I don't care that you're gay man."
"Not me, you."
"What?"
"You can't handle the fact that you're gay."
"I, I'm not gay, I, I just...it's just--"
"If you say it's just me I'll punch you right in the neck. I've been through this rubbish before and I won't do it again. I've already had all my phases I'm not gonna sit here while you jerk me around anymore."
"I thought you liked me jerking you."
"I'm not joking Elijah. I figured all this shite out when I was fourteen, I've already done the denial thing, I've done the depression and the suicidal thoughts and I've done the 'whoring around' thing as you've so nicely called it. I'm not that type of guy. I don't like being used. I don't like how it feels and I don't like how it makes people look at me. I like you. I really like you, but I'm not going to sit here and wait for the day you decide you would rather like to live the lie."
Re: Hmmm...
"Oh, Lijah."
"No! Don't pull that shit with me. Don't go all puppy dog eys Poor Orli on me, you fucker. You won't let me break your heart? What the fuck's that supposed to mean? You like me? You really like me! You don't even fucking know me. How's that for heartbreaking?"
Re: Hmmm...
"You hate the strawberries and you hack and weeze everytime you try to eat a pear--which you keep doing for some reason and you pop your knuckles so much I want to break your hands sometimes just to get you to stop! You call Hannah every night and you can recite every line of Star Wars and I swear to god your are the biggest geek in the world sometimes but for some reason... for some stupid, insane reason I put up with you."
"Oh, you put up with me? Well thank you Mr. Bloom, you're such a good, kind, gracious man to do that, why if it weren't for you I don't know what I would do! Except maybe not be standing in the middle of the fucking road in the middle of god damn mother fucking New Zealand at two in the fucking morning, when I have make-up in three fucking hours, FIGHTING WITH THE BIGGEST DOUCHE-BAG I'VE EVER MET!"
"That's right, scream louder, maybe we'll get arrested. That's the way to solve things. Lijah I... argh, god. Deep breath, deep breath..."
"Stop talking to yourself fuck-head I'm right here! Yell at me, call me names, do something but don't fucking try to block this out!"
"I'm trying to calm down. I don't want to scream at you anymore. I'm not asking you to come running out of the closet done-up in drag or anything I just... God I can't get my thoughts in order, I sound like fucking idiot."
"And that's different how?"
"You know that whole insulting humor thing you do when you wanna be an ass? Now is not the fucking time man! Okay. I, I, do you know what it feels like to be someone's experiement? To have your feelings toyed with that badly? I was the best man at one of my ex-boyfriend's wedding. Do you have any idea what that feels like? To care about someone, deeply, and then for that person to turn around after eight fucking months and tell you 'hey, it's been fun but it turns out you aren't my type after all?' It hurts man! I don't-- if you did that to me I would never be able to forgive you. I'm not that nice of a guy, and I just don't have it in me to do that anymore. Not again."
Re: Hmmm...
"I'm tired, Lijah. How the fuck did I ever get to be this tired? You know what I mean?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I do. How the hell did we get here, man?"
"Dom shoved us outta the car because our arguing was pissing him off."
"Not literally here moron. Here. Like this? I don't want to be angry, at you. I don't want things to change. Why can't they just stay the way they are?"
"Because...Because things change. Relationships, they evolve. You know? Don't just stand there shrugging at me. Why do you get so freaked out every time I use the "R" word?"
Re: Hmmm...
"Ten to one you're thinking out escape routes right now."
"Bite me. Hey!"
"You said bite me."
"I didn't mean to actually bite me. Freak."
"Oops."
"Idiot. I don't freak out."
"You climbed out a bathroom window."
"I needed air."
"Liar."
"Loser. It's not that I freak out okay, it's just that I'm, y'know, new at this."
"You're kidding."
"Bite me--not litterally! It's just that I've never really dated anyone before. I never went to school like most kids and everyone I knew was always way older than me. I've never really dated anyone before and frankly? This is fucking scary dude. Not only is this my first relationshippy-thing but...
"Dude I just all of a sudden went from making with a rare few girls on set and idly thinking that Josh or Usher or Toby is kinda, y'know, to this with you. And you're just so...isane and together and sure of yourself and it's just really fucking scary sometimes."
Re: Hmmm...
"Wow, Academy Award time! And the best actor Oscar goes to: Elijah Wood!!!"
"Stop it! I'm trying to be straight with you! Did you just giggle? Can we maybe act like adults for, like 10 seconds?"
"Act like adults?"
"Stop being a dick."
"Christ you're freezing. Let's walk. Where the hell are we, anyway?"
"Dunno, man. Can't be far from your place, can we? I say we call Dom and make him come the fuck back here and get us."
"No. Let's just walk."
"And talk?"
"Stop laughing. Yes, and talk. So, the big "R" scares the hell outta you, yeah?"
"I'm a kid, man. Ya know? People think I'm all mature and worldly wise and what the fuck ever, but really I think I just act like I know what I'm doing and hope nobody sees through the act."
"Like me?"
"Like you."
"Love me?"
"Fuck off man. I can barely say we're, you know, dating or whatever. I'm not sure I can..."
"Commit? Maybe you should whore around a bit."
"Nice. You want me to? Because you know, I don't even know how to do that."
"What? Pick up? C'mon girls--and guys--drool over you!"
"Um, yes. 13 year old girls. That's just...wrong. Guys drool over me? Really."
"Ok, so maybe it's just me, Lij."
"You drool over me?"
"Um, well. I think you're, like, hot..."
"And?"
"Way to fish for compliments, Wood."
"Hey, I gotta get 'em when I can!"
"So, yeah. You're like, cool, y'know? And you don't even try. And you like me. I mean you're a good mate--friend. You treat me like I matter, like I'm not some dumb guy who's like, green..."
"
Re: Hmmm...
"No, green like--wit. I'm a freak? You bite your nails!"
"A lot of people bite their nails."
"Not their toenails man, that's just wrong. An excellent display of flexibilty, you get a seven by the way, but wrong."
"Dude, you are so much more of a freak then me, even without that mohawk."
"I thought you liked my mohawk."
"It's very sexy. Freaky but sexy. And I never said it was a bad thing to be a freak. Just freaky."
"How is being a freak a good thing?"
"Well you wouldn't want to be normal would you?"
"Of course not. But that doesn't mean I want to be a freak."
"..."
"..."
"...I can't remember what the hell we were talking about."
"I think you were telling me why you liked me."
"Oh yeah."
"..."
"..."
"...Well?"
Re: Hmmm...