This is so very painful, very intense, and totally, could be, should be, canon.

Thinking it's Dean haunting him and not realizing - or choosing NOT to think about "that"...well, it's the only way he can keep his sanity, what's left of it. If he acknowledges the power still there, however dormant it was...well, it might tempt or lead him down the path back to the cage. Which has to terrify him. LIke, he feels like it's ouit of his control. :(

I do love the explanation though, but feel so very bad and sad for Sam. It was not a cake walk for him the year Dean was gone, not by any means.